it's closing... it's coming to an end. The beginning of the end.

... So far things haven't been awfully good, but they haven't been bad either. Perhaps it's inevitable that i should come to this stage where i am emotionally, mentally and physically strained and in mild despair.

The exams have made me regret .. the thought that everything could have been planned better; better organised, better orchestrated and better executed. The past few days I have lost myself in all the confusion. I hardly know what I'm doing anymore. I cannot sleep at night, the lack of control, the chaos and the frightening anxiety bamboozles my mind; I have to turn on a radio to percipitate the mess and crystalise it into manageable chunks. These exams are overwhelming...but it is not the excitement or the awe...it is the predicament of thinking about the past and matching it to the future. For me it is about faith and finding someone who will forgive you for all the trouble you have caused. It's about stopping time, reflecting on your flaws, fixing them up and becoming whole again.

It's hard to be examined. To have your mind disected, categorised and experimented. It's tough... but everyone gets through it and so must I. so must I.

Soldiering on (regardless)
IPPY